ambivalence avenue

Welcome to ambivalence avenue

A ghost town home to few

Where the truth is hard to chew

And the ocean stays forever blue

               ***

I've been weeding out the weeds

Distinguishing greed from wants and needs

I've almost run short of care

Though I say i'm self-aware

Despite appearing sweet outside

There are cruelties i can't confide

In anyone, lest they turn an eye

or let themselves drift to the sky

Unreachable, I am, in this state

Of mind - succumbed to my fate

Oh how I hate the way my vessels show

How my thoughts constrict but also flow

I taste bitter / hear my tongue

Behind the careless melodies sung

I'm as heartless as a donor 

As fucking low as a stoner

I'm everything i don't want to be

But i am, simply

                            ***

Humanity surprises me

and these convictions lie inside of me

I'm a flower in a grave

A fucking firework in a cave

You see, I'm bursting at the seams

But nothing's ever as it seems

It's too good to be true, they say

I'd come to find that out one day

When i learnt i could never run

From the solstice / of the sun

The light showering me in energy

Between the loose ends of tragedy

Tell me why there's still darkness

Even while my eyes stay open

My sockets sink into

Themselves / it is begging

For sleep in this godforsaken notion

I'm sick, ink-stained /

Worse off, all on my own

It's a lie I tell myself,

"I'm never alone"

- Haley